I Did It Once, I Can Do It Again
by aethkr
Summary: It wrecked my soul. But I overcame it once, I can definitely do it again,


Nico is already an adult. Although her father left her, her mom, and her siblings while Nico was younger, it didn't affect Nico's overall mental state. She knew that her father wouldn't want her to grieve to the point that it disturbed others. He didn't want her to grieve because even though it causes their child sadness, they still have so much to live for. They don't want their children to frown. They wanted them to smile.

And that is exactly what Nico's father did.

Her father disappeared before she reached her third year. She remembered all those times she spent with him. Nico loves her dad as much as she loves her siblings and her mom. She never knew why her dad disappeared, he just did. It saddened her greatly.

But the great Nico-nii doesn't get sad! She will always smile no matter what! In the best cases and in the worst. She will always smile.

 _No one will know that she's hurting if she smiles right?_

 _Beep._

 _Beep._

 _Beep._

 _Beep._

Those monotonous beeps snapped Nico out of her reverie. The plain white walls that surround her cause her discomfort. As she gently grabbed the hand of her mother, tears slowly descended down the idol's cheek. The µ's were there as well because they wanted to comfort their friend. They were now all adults of course. It pained them to see Nico in such state.

"Nico-cchi," Nozomi said, placing her hand on the now not petite girl's shoulder. Nozomi didn't add anything else but instead flashed a smile to Nico that said 'we'll be here for you".

Nico released her mother's hand and looked at the purple-haired woman who was smiling at her. Nico hugged her tightly a few seconds after. Nozomi returned the hug, much to Nico's delight. The positive feeling that overwhelmed her downcast attitude was only temporarily as a familiar crimson-haired, female, doctor entered the room with a look of regret. She closed the door slowly to not cause a ruckus in the room.

They all looked at her with curiosity. Nico held the urge to giggle. If they were younger and the situation were less heartbreaking, the doctor that stood in front of them would've glared at them since she was—and is still—prideful. She would've stuttered on her words to divert their attention on anything but her. But that wasn't the case now right?

"Nico-chan—" Maki said, looking away for a bit. "I—"

Nico looked at her former colleague, "Don't hold back. No sugar coating okay?"

"Y-Yes," Maki said, her body stiffened as she looked at the files in her hands. "Your mother won't be able to survive. The longest is only until tonight. After that, she probably won't be able to continue anymore. The life support would have to be cut."

The bluntness in her words surprised them but Nico was an exception. She asked for it anyways. Maki gave her a smile similar to Nozomi's but it was more of a 'I'm sorry' kind of smile.

"Is that so?" Nico asked, she very well knew the answer to the question but it didn't hurt to ask again right?

"Y-Yes," Maki said, she neared the door. "I'll be back."

Eli held her friend's shoulder tightly. Nico knew herself that Maki and her weren't good with their emotions let alone with words. Nico knew as well that Eli was slightly better than them but that doesn't eradicate the fact that she isn't good with emotions and words as well.

Nico looked down and glanced at her mother every now and then. The idol preferred the silence although she assumed that the rest are trying to find a good conversation starter. After all, the atmosphere in the room was tense. She bet Honoka, Hanayo, or maybe Rin are uncomfortable right now. Not that she will be surprised if they were because they are the ones who are optimistic. Nico takes that back. She isn't sure with Hanayo on that.

She hated it when Kotori patted her back. The distraction that she has given herself was okay and the ash-blonde just destroyed it. But she couldn't say that out loud now can she? The raven-haired woman knew her intentions.

"U-Umm…" Hanayo broke the silence after a few minutes but it seemed like an eternity for the rest. "I don't know what to talk about…hehe…sorry…"

"You're not alone on that one Kayo-chan!" Honoka said, looking at brunette who was sitting beside Rin. "Honoka doesn't know anything to talk about! Oh wait! How about…the manjuu my family sells at Homura?"

Unfortunately, it didn't work and the whole room stayed silent as well. Nico was getting quite uncomfortable since no one was talking now and also partly because of the failed attempt of Honoka and Hanayo.

"So…" Nico said, they all looked at her. "What are your guys' jobs?"

"I have taken over my family's dojo/shop!" Umi and Honoka said, they giggled when they said the similar thing.

"I don't have a job yet…" Hanayo said, giggling. "It's kind of difficult to find one nowadays."

"Athlete in the track and field team nya!" Rin said, about to run around the room if it weren't for Nozomi who sat beside her. "Ah. Sorry. Rin got carried away."

"I make clothes!" Kotori said, she stood up and pointed at the apparel she was wearing. "I made this!"

"W-W-Wonderful!" Hanayo said, her mouth open.

"How about you two?" Nico asked the two who were sitting beside her.

"I followed my childhood dreams of being a ballerina," Eli said, a smile forming. "It's a bit difficult in the beginning because the practice is more strenuous than what I was used to but I got the hang of it."

"A professional bowler," Nozomi said, her face proud. The rest looked at her because it seemed out of character for Nozomi. "Well, I wanted to be an athlete like Rin. I wanted to become a baseball player but I ended up picking bowling. It's a nice sport to play even though the ball can be heavy."

"And I remember when we all went 'Harasho' when Eli got a strike when we went overseas," Nico said, reminiscing the times when they were younger. "Ha…. We were young then huh?"

"Maki-chan is missing a lot right now," Hanayo said, they all laughed. "Too bad that doctor career of hers is takes up too much of her schedule."

"It doesn't really take up much of my schedule to be frank. You all just seem to plan things at the worst times possible," Maki laughed, entering the room. "I'm done for the day. Or at least that's what my mother told me."

"You keep saying that," Rin crossed her arms. "Kayo-chin and I kept asking you if you can come with us to the movies and you kept refusing!

"Maybe a bit…" Maki giggled. "Other than that, I'm fine with being a doctor."

"But don't you still long to be a musician?" Umi asked, Maki thought about it for a while.

"Of course I still do. But I have my future set already, what can I do?" Maki said, smiling to cover up the sad comment. "Oh and Eli, your latest performance was great. As expected from someone who was a ballerina when they were younger."

"Y-You watched me?!" Eli asked, looking at redhead in surprise. Maki smirked. "T-Thank you.."

"I told you my schedule isn't that cramped," Maki looked at Rin. "I also watched Nico's latest performance."

"Online or were you there?" Nico asked.

"I was there. I think Nozomi and Honoka were with me during the time…" Maki looked at the two mentioned for confirmation. Both of them nodded. "Do you believe me now?"

"I-I never said that I didn't believe you!" Nico huffed as she crossed her arms. "You doubt me too much!"

"I can't help it," Maki shrugged.

The rest then chatted with one another. They occasionally talked all together but it was usually them talking in pairs or in small groups.

Nico couldn't help but smile. She felt blessed that the gods above have blessed her with friends like these. She wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

She glanced at her mother and smiled as well. It hurt her still that her mother is about to die but she couldn't do anything about it. The inevitable is coming and Nico couldn't do anything to stop it. That feeling washed over her and saddened her.

 _Stop thinking like that!_

Nico thought about it again. What would she do when her mother dies? What will she do when the inevitable happens? She looked at her friends momentarily and found her answer.

 _Instead of being sad, I'll accept the change whole-heartedly despite the pain._

 _After all, I did it once. I can do it again._

* * *

 **I nearly cried! And this is MY story! :'(**


End file.
